Monday, July 13, 2009

the happiest and unhappiest day in sandakan..

I'm having sick now..but I still want to write down the feelings before it vanishs from my mind..last two days, I was still in sandakan and it was saturday..I went out with her and her friend at evening..I went to pick them up in the tuition centre..I still remeber it was about 3pm and I had been waiting for 40 minutes..It didnt matter..I brought her and her friend to chocolate rain...Honestly, before saturday, I was looking forward going out with her...I didnt mean anythings...I just wanted to take a look of her before I went back to kl...erm....acutally, Im still in love to her even though we havent met for 8 months...I knew she has the one she likes already( i think im the only one who knows that) but she seems so rational that she doesnt want to have any boy friends first ...sometimes...i will be very cared that who she likes...what if they get together...will she get hurted?I really dont want to see her get hurted..well...this is not under my control..

well...after sitting down at chocolate rain...we started chatting...Im so happy that she changed a lot...not only her personalities but also her look...she got thin already...and I praised her tat she got pretty already, got thin already and the smile was so sweet....after I said that...I could see that she was very happy...she gave a sweet, attractive and shy smile...I will always keep that smile in my mind..the most happiest things were that she becomes more talkative already...she now will argue with me...she didnt use to be like that...her friend also said that she changed a lot...when i first knew her...she was very shy and not talkative...followingly,we kept chatting...we had some fun talk...now i know tat...原来 我的无聊可以让她笑个不停..i will always remeber that laughing and smiling forever...she didnt use to be like that...we always had eye contact...from her eyes and face expression...I think she knew that I was still in love to her...but she didnt say anythings...and i can also feel that she only wants to be friend with me only...I feel that..i know that..so..i didnt do much things..i didnt express my feelings...and I also didnt want to and will not do so....maybe she really doesnt belong to me...and im not belonged to her...

After that...she really needed to go...then she called her sister to go to pick her up...after her friend's father went to pick her friend up....it was only she and i....conversation continued...after that, the waitress told us that the restaurant was going to close...then we went outside..she called me to go first...because her sister was coming...she didnt want her sister to misunderstand...Before i went to take my car....i had some talks with ..to greet her...to wish her...I was very 不舍的..because i will not be seeing her until chinese new year...but agn..i didnt express my feelings...I put all the feelings in my heart...when i reached my car...I sat there..to see her go first...I sat for about 3 minutes..then her sister came...It was the unhappiest things...anyway...life has to continue..i sat at plane yesterday to recall wat had happened on saturday...It is my memory and i will keep it in my mind forever...

huh...it is a long dairy..im in the sick...and i have to go now....i wan to go to sunway medical centre to see if i gt H1N1...im having fever,dizzy,headache and maybe a bit sore throat...Im worring because i just came back to kl yesterday...hope that it is not H1N1....erm....in addition, im also happy tat her result got improved..only after 8 months....she improved everythings...and it is the happiest things...erm...eventually, i wish that she can always be happy in the rest of her life...

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